Goodbyes That Hurt

Mixed feelings during my last Sunday at LifePoint Bangkok Church. Sad to go, but happy I have so many friends saying, "See you later."

 Goodbyes are never easy.

We've all had experiences with them.  Goodbyes from school, from a neighborhood, for a short vacation, for a long overseas adventure.  Sometimes it's tempting to withdraw, not pour much into relationships because we know that eventually we will move on.  But that's not how God called us to live.

"What would it look like to live so that it hurt when you left?"  One of my friends asked me recently.

It would look like deep relationships, strong friendships, giving of yourself, committing fully where you're at, learning from the people around you, improving your surroundings, enjoying your circumstances, being accepting and in return being accepted.

While I haven't done that perfectly, I have given it my best shot, and God has given me a lot of grace by spreading between the gaps.  The result is a deep, gut-twisting pain as I prepare to leave this land that has become home.  Saying goodbye to friends I've invested in for four years hurts.  But I know it's a good hurt.  It's a heart wrenching that points to many hours, days, and years of wonderful relationships and time invested well.

Two of my aunties/English students.

As I've said a "for now" goodbye to many friends, I've gotten a lot of different responses.

"Don't worry, you'll be back."

"Can I come visit you in China?"

"I'm mad at you."

"No need to say goodbye...just see you again."

"Can you not go?" 

"Remember when you came the first time and couldn't speak Thai at all?"  N asked me in Thai.  "Adrienne from your team washed my feet, and I didn't understand.  I was a new BJD student and not a Christian yet."

"I'm afraid I won't have any friends anymore."

"The doors are more than open for you to come back whenever God leads!"

"Who am I going to eat MK with?"  (Our favorite hotpot restaurant.)

"I wish you all the best, a good job and a higher salary."

"You are more than welcome to come back to join us."

A four year old's bedtime prayers, "...and pray for Julia going to China."

Goodbyes are never easy, but I'd rather they hurt.  How is God calling you to invest in those around you so that when you have to say goodbye it hurts?

Eating Lebanese food with small group friends the week before I leave Thailand.